Finally feeling normal

It’s been a while since I updated you all on where I was with weaning from my antidepressants.

I’m thrilled to tell you all that I am officially med-free!!!

When I last posted, I was trying to wean from 25 mg of zoloft to nothing. At the time, I was doing two days of meds, followed by one day without. When that went well, I switched to every other day for about a week. After that, I went to one day on, two days off for about two weeks. At that point, I had gotten through another cycle. I decided to stop taking the meds.

Things have gone really well. There are definitely still times that I lose it. I get mad. I occasionally yell at my kids. But I no longer feel overwhelmingly out of control. I feel like I had a moment where I allowed my emotions to rule me, not a moment where I was literally unbalanced. It has felt like a momentary shortcoming, and after taking a few deep breaths, I usually feel ready to engage with my children again and apologize for my actions.

We are far from a perfect, perpetually happy life. My kids are kids. They take turns being the more frustrating one (thank goodness for that). We notice that typically, when they’re being terrible, we need to reconnect. Or they need food or sleep. We’ve actually had a few weeks now where at least one of them is having a series of bad days. It’s been frustrating and hard. But I’ve always felt empowered to handle it.

It’s funny; I thought that I would feel more triumphant when I was finally off my meds. It was something I struggled with for so long. But instead, I mainly just feel…normal. And that’s really nice.